MALICE IN “LOVERLAND”

//MALICE IN “LOVERLAND”

MALICE IN “LOVERLAND”

By | 2017-12-16T08:07:22+00:00 December 16th, 2017|

Keeping malice appears to be deeply ingrained in our culture, such that it is acceptable to shut somebody out as a way of punishment. Some parents also seem to adopt the silent treatment as a parenting style. That is, to rebuke a child for an offence, we give them a cold shoulder. Our children in turn would sulk and glower when they have issues with their peers. Just like their parents, they keep the cold malice effortlessly. This same malicious strategy is often adopted by neighbours against one another. Office colleagues, market shop owners and organizations members would keep malice, and worst of all, some people keep malice in the places of worship!

Malice is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people without good communication skill, an inability to express a high level of empathy, and an avoidance of conflict resolution. The malicious person deploys an arsenal of abuse tactics to punish the victim. The silent treatment is a favorite weapon of choice.

On the other hand, the victim, who often will go to great lengths to attempt to restore communication with the abuser, is typically met with contempt and silence. Often, the malicious person will demand that the victim apologizes for whatever exaggerated offense the victim may have committed. Thusly, the victim might be made to feel humiliated, confused, frustrated, ignored and unloved.

Although researchers say the cold shoulder is the most common way people deal with marital conflict, however, the silent treatment leaves important issues in the marriage unresolved. A malicious husband or wife, because they cannot prevail over their spouse, or they have been insulted, offended, or have been deprived of their coveted ego massage, continues to harbour enmity towards their spouse, and the flames of anger and acrimony consume the love they share. This leads to lower relationship satisfaction and less intimacy, which may also be associated with divorce.

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that no one deserves or should tolerate. Although, couples can mutually agree to take a timeout to cool their heads, this should not be allowed to go on for too long. If you are wrong, genuinely apologize as soon as you are able to. For those in or getting out of a marital relationship with a malicious individual, know that you are worthy of a healthy relationship with someone who can communicate in a mature, emotionally healthy manner.

Malice is like an acid held in the container that it destroys. It nibbles its host in snacks. A true lover is never malicious and vindictive. Those who learn to forgive, communicate and make peace with others will most likely have better relationships in their ‘Loverlands’ than others.

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